Love in the Time of Facebook...

I was talking with a good friend last night and we were pontificating over the fascination and gravitational pull of Facebook, and how it is changing society today.

I heard on the radio, not too long ago, that Facebook is statistically, quickly becoming one of the top reasons for divorce. Imagine that... a social network, widely disbursed and increasingly popular web-based application, an actual causer of divorce. I'm sure that's not what, Harvard student, Mark Zuckerberg had in mind when developing the site for himself and his friends. I'm certain this statistic isn't the legacy that he wants to establish in terms of how Facebook is revered many decades from now.

Can we adults, at least, not behave like rational, loyal, honest human beings? Can we not trust our other halves to stay on the straight and narrow in terms of being faithful in cyber space? I suppose the old adage "curiosity killed the cat" applies to Facebook, because it cracks the door of interest and allows, with relative ease and privacy, a person to creep into the lives of their once-wases... Temptation is too accessible for the weak to cave into, when subjected to a world of 6 million users, all linked and connected like cyber-DNA... it's crazy.

Does Facebook have a shelf-life for people over 35? I really think so, especially if you are a busy professional with loads of responsibilities and not a lot of time for Facebooking... despite the convenience of Blackberry and Smart phone applications.

For some though, it's a long-term addiction, that they can't seem to quench their thirst of, and it eventually rules their thoughts... they must maintain their 'status' quo and ensure that every breathing moment is captured for their friends and family to read and comment upon... or not, and then the offended-ness creeps into their Facebook-psyche and low and behold, you have a full on Facebook controversy... if you don't update or comment or whatever, the probability of being offensive is high. And if you don't have over 100 friends, you are a Facebook loser... if you de-friend, that's the worst of offenses. The political-Facebook-correctness is multi-faceted, so tread lightly upon establishing and maintaining (consistently) your status and connections.

I'm curious, in all of my observations, how long it will take Facebook to dismantle money issues and face-to-face adultery as the #1 reason for divorce around the world... I shall watch and see... I suppose the lure may wear off and people will actually want REAL emotional and physical connections, instead of dancing behind the firewalls of communication.

It will be interesting to see if our new digital society can learn to be faithful and committed with Love... in the time of Facebook...

Round Tables and Clueless Knights

I recently began working with a wise and witty soul, her name is Gail. I have to say, I find her quite interesting and intriguing! Gail sent 'us girls' an email that she sent to her 'friend/roommate' about 'the little things' that women want... You know, simple things that would keep us happy in a relationship! I found this 'rant' to be not only hysterically funny and thoughtful, but amazingly accurate - peppered with brutal honesty. I dig her perspective... With that said, I had to share... So enjoy and remember - it's the little things that make ALL the difference in the world!

===================================================================== Alright Sir Lancelot…I’m in a writing mode…and I need a break from doing this Federal mumbo jumbo work for a mere 30min..…so here goes….I’ve thought a lot about what you say about women…and what you want from women…and I heard just about everything you have said..even though you don’t think I listen…quite the opposite I can assure you..I hear quite a bit of it even with my mind going 1000 miles an hour……ok so I know what you want from a woman…now here is what I want from a man and I think most women would agree:

I have worked for men and worked out for men. I have cooked for men, cleaned for men, dressed for men and undressed for men. I have been waxed, pedicured and blonde for men. I have tried meditation, tennis, chess, golf and escargot for men (note that one’s for you)…I have relocated, reproduced and reinvented myself on more than one occasion for men…I have seen films of Jackie Chan, read the poetry of Charles Bukowski and learned the finer points of the Indianapolis 500 (if there is such a thing) for men. I have changed my plans for men, stuck to my guns for men, stood up for men, and gone down because of men.

But somewhere between the snails and the chidbirth, I got a little tired of trying to figure out exactly what it is that men want from women….The real question I pose to you Sir Lancelot is what do women want from men?...It just so happens that I Gail O. am an actual living, breathing, water-retaining member of the female species and have been for years….So allow me to throw out a few ides I have before I read the Art of Seduction:

Women want to make the same money men make when we do the same job…I am lucky because in the Government we are the same.
Women want a pair of high heels that do not leave us praying for the sweet release of death.
Women want foreplay...
Woman want a lot of foreplay ...
Woman want safe, healthy, fun, warm-hearted day care for kids at a reasonable price.
We want peace, love and understanding, but we also want a good mixed drink, compassionate lighting, and the occasional cheap thrill.
We want all rock stars over 60, Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger…to date women over 60. I mean come on they are going to need a hip replacement soon and their sweeties are running off to Gymboree.
We want to stop being forced to watch the Godfather every time it airs…we get it….the movie is a masterpiece…enough.
Did I mention the whole foreplay thing again?
Every now and again, we want somebody to pick the restaurant, arrange the playdate, plan the seating, buy the tickets, do the laundry (you do that well), schedule the appointment, pack the bags, balance the books, send the gift, play with the dog (you do that well), fill out the forms, break the silence, lift the ban, make the payment, count the calories, hold the phone, explain the joke, beat the odds, hit the ground running, win the race, and save the day while we sleep past noon in high thread count sheets (Egyptian cotton over 300) with a cashmere blanket….
We want a man to make us laugh…
We want a man that does not smack of phoniness.
We want a man that loves nature.
We want a man that is adventurous.
We want a man that looks on himself and doesn’t suffer fools gladly.
We want a man that loves music, Red Hot chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne (you are a walking music repository).
We want a man that reads Devil in the White City (that ones for you) and Winnie the Pooh and Knights of the Round Table…among others, and oh - did I mention Oprah (that ones for you).
We want a man that is proud and shy, and adores Jack Black, Will Ferrell, Monty Python and James Bond...
We want a man that is sweet-natured, consoling, some-times fierce-tempered, frustrated, and fragile.
We want a man as a loyal friend, an old soul, a competitive player…and just a pure pleasure.

Women want a man that can repair anything, cook a great meal, can tell a good clean or dirty joke and can repair a bruised ego.
Women want a man that collects absurdities, can find you mouth or any other body part for that matter in the dark.
We want a man that loves great design, worn-in boots and one that basically loves women.
We want a man that has good manners (yours are awesome, mom did a great job), opens doors for women, walks curb side, brings home lilacs in January…(because they are my favorite flower)..and who will bring home something unusual to eat that you have never had before.
We want men that don’t cultivate their idiosyncrasies…
We want men that follow world news, can learn a new subject matter, loves kids, trusts his instincts, worships, David Sedaris, Alberto Giacometti, Calvin Klien, Prada, and Ferrari.

We want a man that loves leather, the thrill of a moment, can put up with women’s mood swings and stays with us when it’d be easier to go…

So my friend…it is true- I’ve done more than my fair share for men…and I have known and lost some truly amazing men in my life..but at the end of the day…I still want to be with a great man……:)

go

Blackberry Bondage

So, one day your boss comes to you and says, "Hey guess what? I've put in a request for you to have a blackberry." Your initial thought is, that's pretty cool... and then reality sets in... they've got you tethered... and there's no way out of it... Then the day comes when you receive said techno device... and at first it's really fun, interesting and neat... but then, you become, shall we say, OBSESSED!? You are constantly a buzz, literally, with emails and messages and phone calls - oh my! They can reach you at any time, any where and at any moment! Not just 'them' ... but anyone! And you can't break free from the constant checking for emails and messages and phone calls. If you live in the world of Executive-ism... you are attached at the hip by a 3 ounce device that connects you to life, like some sort of breathing apparatus; and God forbid the battery die on you - it's as if the world has stopped turning on its axis! Charge up and get your fix! Never fear, you aren't alone in your suffering... there are hundreds, if not thousands, or dare I say, millions of Blackberry-heads out there equally addicted to their email and messages and phone calls! How dare the Patent and Trade Office threaten to take away our precious love machine! The good ole FDA will need to approve a pill that we can consume in order to wean ourselves from the connectivity issues we soon be facing... we will eventually be forced to unplug, by our families, our children and our significant others... or we may very well be dwelling in Blackberry hell! But hey, we won't be alone! So, the next time someone starts engaging in Blackberry Bondage, while in the midst of your one on one face time, just be patient, they really can't help themselves...

If you are a member of the Blackberry Bondage Brew Ha Ha ... why are you reading this! Get back on your email, check your messages and make a phone call!

The Waiting Game

Why is it that we live our lives waiting??? Waiting for life to be great, waiting for someone to love us, waiting to get married, waiting to divorce, waiting to have children, waiting for financial stability and security, waiting to start that diet until Monday, waiting to join that gym, waiting to go on vacation, waiting to get that better job, wait to file our taxes... Some people are literally, waiting to wait... what gives? Why are we so afraid? Why do we wait? Even if you want to stop the waiting, no one else seems ready to not wait... so you end up waiting on them! ARG!!! I just don't get it. We live in the most 'free' nation on this planet and yet we hold ourselves back constantly. We keep ourselves in 'wait' and we end up allowing life to pass us by, instead of being gregarious and going after this life with an appetite! We starve ourselves of fun and happiness because we're scared of being emotionally or physically hurt, going broke, losing our homes, losing our possessions and maybe even losing our minds... and therefore we wait.

How about we take risks, chances, and go off the deep end and try to do things we haven't done! If we fall down, we get back up... we learned this as children, fall off that bike, you get right back on and peddle away... Somewhere along the line, we had one too many falls and we got hurt, so the older we got, the less we had the tendency to not hesitate before jumping back on and peddling off into the unknown! I want to feel like a kid again... not a 7th grader, younger than that... maybe a kindergartner, so I can learn things all over again and try to not wait... to attempt everything my creative little mind can muster up and live without fear and regret... maybe then, the waiting game would be a foreign concept, as opposed to the norm.

Can you be a kid again at 36? I wonder...

I'm going to try... we'll see what happens...

June Bugs in March

Life is funny... why do we become so obsessed with our own thoughts? As if we don't already have to plow through life at an insanely frenetic pace... we have to go adding the pressure of our own internal mind chatter. We're trudging along, barely keeping our heads above water and boom something happens; most of the time it's minuscule and yet, we make a huge ordeal over it... to the point of obsession. Are we not consumed enough with keeping up with the competition at work, our children, our bills, maintaining our homes and our relationships, and oh yeah, we have to find time to eat, sleep and be merry?? Not to mention we are supposed to squeeze in physical exercise? Ummmm, no wonder a good percentage of the population is consuming anti-depressants. It's overwhelming... we have too many things to keep up with, especially if we are single parents... Single parenthood is one of the hardest jobs on the earth, and there are so many parents and kids living in the world of single parentdom.

We find ourselves wanting what we can't have... whether it's a new car, new home, new clothes, new gadget, or new love interest. We fight temptations on a daily basis... in fact we can become tormented by the lure of all our many desires, wishes, hopes and dreams. To the point that we lose ourselves in the confusion of love and lust...

Let's pause and enjoy the timeless expression ... Misery Loves Company... simply because it rings so true... sometimes we reach out to those we believe will either sympathize with our plight of the moment, or someone who will talk us back into an unselfish reality - or both. We often need a friend that will give us a jolt of consciousness allowing us to see the black and white, as opposed to the grey that we often find ourselves frolicking in... as if we don't know the difference...

The revelation is that we must try hard as responsible people walking amongst living, to not get caught up in our own melodrama and make the effort to be aware of how we are running our lives - instead of allowing our lives to run us. Remembering our choices while considering the aftershocks and consequences that will result in your decided direction.

I believe the key to living a selfless life is to be the best person you can be, consider how your words and actions directly impact those you are communicating with - because perception is reality - no matter what you might perceive. Be an exceptional friend, not just a great or good friend. Advise as if it were yourself, but not to the point of obnoxious. Mostly, always consider the unknown future, because you NEVER know what the future is going to throw your way. You never know who you are going to meet, who you're going to love, who you are going to spend the rest of your life with... never say never, because it means more than just the name of a great Bond film. I think we all strive to be the person we hope we are... but most of the time we fall short... because we become self-obsessed and lose sight of what's real and important...

Fear is ruthless and relentless... take a chance on yourself and your dreams...

Choices

In life we all have choices... We choose where to live, where to work, what to make of ourselves and our lives, and how to raise our children. We choose what we like to do with our time, whether to dine in or eat out, and whether to get a single shot or a double shot of espresso with our super charged latte. We choose our financial state of affairs, to be in debt or debt free, to be dependent or independent... We choose who to be friends with, to be happy or sad, passionate or sedate, kind and caring or mean and cold. We choose how we accept love and give love... and how we decide to be treated. We choose to be successes or failures. We choose our religion, or lack there of it. We choose our relationships, good or bad. And, thanks to modern technology, we can choose to be skinny or fat, blond or brunette, and we can even choose our eye color.

We are told to choose the road less traveled, in order to get ahead... but how do we know that road is the right one, if no one has EVER traveled it before? It's our road, not 'their' road, so how do 'they' know what road we should be on?? We move about life trying to avoid being hurt, or less face it, emotionally devastated, usually by a love relationship, but not always, sometimes it stems from losing someone close to you, by death, divorce or unresolvable issues... Our choice in this, is how we decide to react to this type of pain; how we choose to recover. We can choose to be angry at the world, depressed, and completely close down our emotions; or we can choose to look at the reality of the situation and deal with it head on. Most of us choose the angry path, because it's easier to be mad rather than rational. We choose our life's course, as best we can, dodging bullets and doing our damn'dest to survive this life! Some of us try to be optimistic and free-spirited, and others choose to be pessimistic and walled up. Why is it that we have so many choices? Our world is growing increasingly more demanding and fast-paced. We must begin processing from the moment our feet hit the floor in the morning, until they slide between the soft sheets at night... and even then, the world still creeps in, not letting us sleep or filling our dreams with confusion and chaos. Why can't things be simple like they used to be, back in the day of close knit families, no divorces and white picket fences? When did we, as a society, choose to be so free spirited that we decided to live our lives alone and lonely? We choose to commit and then we choose to break those commitments with relative ease and little to no effort... We choose to live scared and fragile, instead of alive and vivacious. Why can't we choose to move toward love of life, even amidst the crazed and chaotic world we find ourselves dwelling in... Why can't we say what we feel without fear that the one we're spilling our hearts out to will choose not to listen or hear what we're saying... they might choose not to care or respond. Choice is a word that we find ourselves clinging to or wishing we never had... it's a double-edged word, with endless possibilities... we just have to choose what those possibilities might be... pain or no pain - the choice is solely ours to make...

Ganache...

Why is it that when we are depriving ourselves of something... we want it more than we EVER could have thought or imagined? Let's take our Ganache for example... rich, velveting, creamy and decadent... a chocolate lovers utopia... unless that lover is on a strict diet, for which this luscious indulgence is not a privilege. It's an unimaginable torture... like being submerged in water without being able to take that much needed long deep breath before going under... The Chocolatier must find another means of satisfying their lust (albeit hunger) for the unattainable... but it's never quite the same... it's all just smoke and mirrors... there is no substitute for such a unique taste... not to mention the feelings it evokes... one that make it's memory on your palette for which there is no fooling... or masking... or mistaking... Everyone should be able to enjoy just a hint of Ganache in their lives... just a sampling... right? I want the Goose that laid the Golden Egg... and I want it now! Oops, a little Wonka flashback... when speaking of cocoa, I reminisce of Wonka or Cadbury ... makers of my most favorite self imposed torture device... I'm certain I must sound obsessed, however, cut me a little slack...

I'll be the first to admit it... My name is (insert name) and it's been 7 days since I last experienced the sweetness and texture of my most favorite of morsels...

Can you tell that I've started a new diet? 7 full days in the torture chamber ... not a smidgen of Ganache in sight... damn the Chocolate Gods...